So I've had a chat or two with management at The Scoot Inn, and despite prior assurances I'd have complete creative control over tonight's programme, there's been a subtle hint or two that perhaps I need to make a greater effort to make the cash registers ring.

I'm all about the art. I hope you know that by now. But it's also really hard to play records with a broken arm, and with that in mind, I have made some serious concessions.



Along with my usual musical journey down Memory Lane (and I-35 south), tonight will also feature a stirring career retrospective devoted to TIMMY NAPALM. Not only will rare footage of the Hormones and Napalm Stars be on display, but we'll have a reading of some of Dr. Stegall's finest works and perhaps dignitaries from all over the music and art world will make their testimonials via satellite.

(perhaps)

(due to circumstances beyond our control, Tim Napalm himself will not be in attendance).

I should also mention ---- in the interests of full disclosure, that when Scoot Inc. re-sent my last missive about this event, a particularly unflattering reference to a band I'll merely refer to as the Weapons Of Mass Fucktardom, was deleted.

I wholeheartedly promise you that no censorship took place, and any reports of an unpleasant exchange between myself and a certain C. Attal of Austin, TX were wildly exaggerated. We were merely rehearsing for a dinner theatre production of "Network" (he took the Ned Beatty part, I was Peter Finch).

In any event, I look forward to see you all at the Scoot Inn, this evening, from 10pm onwards.

Return engagement time, folks. I'm dj'ing again at The Scoot Inn (1308 E. 4th St. at Navasota, Austin TX) this Wednesday night from 10pm 'til closing. If you're on the fence about venturing out, please keep the following in mind :

1) if you're sick to death of Austin bars and nightclubs where you're constantly approached by attractive people either offering drugs or trying to take you home, this oughta be right up your alley.
2) There's no chance in hell these guys will be playing --- either in person or in recorded form.
3) Management has assured me they now accept U.S. currency.
4) If I'm busy playing records, the odds of my spilling something on you are significantly reduced.

See you Wednesday!

Gerard

Just another reminder, it's all happening tonight at Austin's home for the lonely and moanly, The Scoot Inn (1308 E. 4th St. at Navasota). I'll be playing records, compact discs and conducting a slideshow of vintage amputee porn.

Perhaps the last part won't be happening --- I'm told they might not have a proper slide projector at the Scoot. But in any event, you won't want to miss this. (Unless you have a home with records, compact discs and beer you can buy from the supermarket.)

I don't know if either of the above titles will be on tonight's playlist, but I've got to do something to leave you in suspense, right? You wouldn't expect Brett Ratner to tell you how the movie ends, would you?

as the accolades continue to roll in following my last dj stint at another local nightspot which will remain nameless (ie. they still haven't paid me), I'm taking the show on the road....well, a few blocks east, anyway.

assorted treasures from the vast archive will be dusted off this coming Wednesday, 3/21 at the Scoot Inn (1308 E. 4th St. at Navasota, Austin). Will this mean the world premiere of the long-awaited mashup of "Raping Dead Nuns" and "I Can't Drive 55"? Or, instead, will it just be more of the same rehashed, pseudo Arthur Bakerisms that got me the gig in the first place? You've got to show up to throw up.

I'll be weaving my magic from 930ish to whenever they tell you to fuck off and go home.

Gerard